A friend of mine who knows I love butterflies called to say she had black swallowtail caterpillars all over her dill plant. I said, “I’m coming.” She gave me the whole pot. We have 5 caterpillars on the plant in a butterfly net in my classroom. I pulled out magnifying sheets and invited my students into an inquiry about the caterpillars. We started with what do you already know and then wrote 3-5 questions.
I think the whole process is nature’s magic, but when one student wanted to know what actually happens in the cocoon/chrysalis, we learned that the caterpillar ingests itself. Ew!
Grief can be like this really messy process. Growth only comes from going through the messy muck of grief. I often feel like I’m not doing it right or well. What is really meant when someone says, “She’s handling it well.” I tell you no one handles it well. No one! We handle it how we handle it. Sometimes that means gripping hard to the steering wheel and other times, it’s walking among the wildflowers weeping.
And just when you think you’ve gone the distance, you’ve gotten through, something else comes along to topple you over.
If we stop growing, grieving, changing, we stop living. Growth is happening every day. Spring reveals to us that even the plants that look bare and dormant will leaf out, will bloom, will grow. Don’t ignore the process. Tend it as you would a tiny, fragile caterpillar.
Life
after Ellen Bass, Relax
Bad things are going to happen.
You will leave the milk out;
It will sour.Bad things that leave you helpless.
A newborn cannot breathe on his own.
You will pray.Bad things are inevitable.
Some doctor will miss something important.
You will suffer.Bad things stop us in our tracks.
A squirrel will eat the coolant hose again.
You will be stuck.But one evening when you’re bone tired,
you will watch a video of your granddaughter.
You will laugh until you cry.Let it all come. You are living a life.
Margaret Simon