**Trigger Warning: Disordered Eating** The Backstory of this song: 7/25/23 I woke up today not feeling well. Part of me still feels like this is a story that would be safer left untold - and I feel very sad and vulnerable to admit that this has been my secret reality for over thirteen years. I have felt so much shame around body image since I was very young. I started modeling at eleven months old, and by the time I was nine, I was working as a “fit model” for a very big dance wear company in New York City - this meant that the dance wear company based their sizing for “intermediate” girls off of my body. Once I sized out of “intermediate” and lost the gig, I felt so much shame. I felt like something was wrong with me - and I was just a kid. By the time I was in middle school, it was very normal to brag about skipping meals and counting calories. As I send this song out into the world, I am giving a big hug to this little girl inside of me. I wish I could’ve told her what I know now. Body image issues and eating disorders are not something that you can see or that has a specific type of body or archetype that usually deals with them. They are pervasive in our culture, and unhealthy disordered behavior is incredibly normalized - and even celebrated. I’ve spent 13+ years hyper fixating on my weight, “clean eating,” toxic “wellness,” overexercising, and developed obsessive behaviors that kept me in cycles of restriction. Until at age 29 - I got help. I am so grateful to my therapist and for learning more about intuitive eating through @emmysyummys. There is so much light on the other side of this struggle. If you are struggling, you are not alone. This is something that I still actively struggle with, and this is not something that just goes away. I’m constantly checking in with myself and trying to remain open to help even on days I don’t want it. Thank you so much to my family and friends, and my ex for holding me accountable. I encourage anyone out there who is struggling secretly to be open to seeking and receiving help. I know it’s not easy, but I promise you can find the bravery like I did. Here are some resources if you are struggling and need a place to turn: @neda @eatingrecovery @anadhelp Song co-written, produced, mixed, and all instruments played by Anna Schulze Art by Erica Elan DP - LeeAnn Nizhóní Leonard Steadicam - Daniel Willard Grip/Gaffer - Ranan Lawe AD / Editor - Annie Bailey AC - Moriah Renana Pleasant PA - Charlie Bailey Subscribe to the Raye Zaragoza Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/rayezaragoza?... FOLLOW RAYE: Website: https://www.rayezaragoza.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rayezaragoza Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rayezaragoza/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/rayezaragoza Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Rayemusic/

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